People would tell you to be honest and to just burst out all your emotions in one. But what can i do if honesty will all ruin it all?
I would remember before that i am letting you go. That i am on the process of forgetting you. But here i go again i would see you face in the midst of nowhere. We Cannot be together ever! We both know that. At this point this all should be useless but i am missing you af!
This phrase i often hear when i tell other people my job. Yes i am a blissful Teacher of children with special needs. Why them? ……. and in will answer Why not?
I also don’t know…..
to be honest, i haven’t even dream of being one. I see teachers are people who are left behind by their students every year. I see my teachers inside the same corners of our room 10, 11 or even 15 years ago. I felt like it a very stagnant but noble job.
So why I am here? 🤔
3 years ago i graduated from my short course in Filipino Sign Language. It was fulfilling to enter the world of deaf people and their stories that only few could understand.
After a year i passed the LET, continued my graduate studies.
As i look back i have realised a huge reason why teaching? why children with special needs? The answer i found is within our home. I have an uncle with schizophrenia. 👋🏼 more than half of his life that is a whopping 40 years now. Our family gone through a lot. It is a mixed of frustrations, happiness, laughter, hopefulness, trust, acceptance, compassion and love.
He went through a lot worst personally in battling those unfamiliar voices he used to hear and more.
Yes they would often tell me “maybe you have unending patience and understanding that is why you choose Children with special needs” well i will definitely say NO. Im a very short tempered and impatient person. I hate waiting for other person etc.
More than just mere teaching, it felt like i found a bigger home and an extended family when i am with them.
Hopefully this is my last to think of you, you kept running inside my head every freaking single day. The last time i will stalk you in social media. Hopefully this can be very soon.
Hopefully this is my last to reminisce the unbarable happy memories that i have with you. They all seem vivid and real.
Hopefully my mind and heart wont miss you. Like it was always the first time when we meet.
Hopefully the universe conspire to help me forget you. Though assurance isn’t in my favor now. Maybe days, weeks or months after i will.
Hopefully i can be fair enough to the one who loves me the most. Uttering my good bye breaks my heart but it will heal eventually.
I dont trust my ability in story telling. I have the tendency to run out of words. Like now. 😁. To sum it up Batanes is one hot chamer of the PH. Ivatans may not appreciate or see it as I/we do since we dont stay there but damn!!! Being in the northern part is felt like to be inch away from heaven. Paradise!
Never can I remember that during Holy days we go out for vacation. I can say it is a tradition, but more than that, it is our devotion to be part of God’s beautiful suffering that led to our freedom.
Yes it is an anual recollection from what had happend more that 2000 years ago. Reminiscing each way to the cross with Jesus. The least, I can show how thankful I am that He is my God and my Saviour.
Last night was surreal. It was one of the mass celebration that I felt I am inches away from Papa Jesus. Each Psalms was sang by the soloists that made me feel that im surrounded by cherubims and seraphims.
Thank you for the hug Papa Jesus. I would always long for that. Thank you for all of your sicrifices just to show us how much you love us. 🙂
I am a Catholic. I am proud to be one
I am on the midst of procrastination. I will get married on the last month of this year. Most of the suppliers are booked (it is good news). I am like an eager tigress before, i got so excited on all of our wedding preps and never thought i would reach this point. A sudden melt down of the unsinkable faith.
It seems the clock ‘s hand is ticking in slow motion. The rythym is not dancing with time. It has its own meaning and life.Vivid now turning into something unexpected and lifeless.